Missing: My motivation

Bad news, y’all…I lost my motivation. Like, I can’t find it anywhere. I’ve even looked in the freezer because the freezer is kind of like Narnia. You never know what you might find in there. Holy crap, I totally figured out where the entrance to Narnia is in my apartment. Actually I have two: the freezer (obviously) and the dryer. I would say I probably have an entrance in my closet as well, but my closets are tiny and Narnia wouldn’t fit….yet somehow my freezer and dryer are able to hold Narnia within them. Interesting.

I don’t know how Narnia works.

Related note: I think Mary Poppin’s purse (or would it be Poppins’? Apparently I don’t know how fictional characters’ names work either) also contains Narnia within it. And it’s infinitely smaller than my tiny, hobbit-sized closets. And it’s portable. Two things:

1)Why the fuck does she get magical powers AND a portable Narnia?? Because she’s played by Julie Andrews, and clearly Jules sold her soul to the devil. What a bitch. The hills are alive with the sound of music. And the screams of the innocent.

2)The smaller the object, the more likely you are to find Narnia. So ladies, when gift giving time comes around, don’t be upset with your guy because that tiny jewelry box contains earrings and not a ring. Get upset because it contains earrings and not Narnia. Scratch that…get upset because the tiny box doesn’t contain earrings AND Narnia.

….I clearly don’t know how Narnia works. Or Mary Poppins. Or Julie Andrews. Or freezers. Or closets. Or dryers. Or gift giving.

Seriously y'all...how have I made it this far in life? 

This is probably where the moths come from too. Narnia moths are the worst.