Tuesday, June 2, 2015

The pursuit of happiness has no room for your bullshit

As a lot of us know, in the past few months, Bruce Jenner has made an announcement that he was going to make the transition to become a woman. And in the age of 24-hour media coverage, jokes and opinions started rolling in in droves which is unfortunately to be expected. Everyone had an opinion and punchline ready. I admit, I was surprised, but it didn't bother me. As it shouldn't. It's not for me to be bothered by. It's none of my business, and I say this as someone who has fully supported his decision (yes, I've used masculine pronouns because at that time, he still wanted to be referred to as "Bruce" and a "he").

Fast forward to yesterday.

Yesterday morning the cover photo for Vanity Fair was released, and in my unsolicited opinion, it is stunning. Watching KUWTK (Keeping Up With The Kardashians for those like me who originally was like, "What the fuck is that?") Sunday night I kept seeing similarities to Geena Davis, but this cover looks more like scientists combined the DNA from Jessica Lange and Cindy Crawford. I mean, wow- Caitlyn is gorgeous! That's her name. And you know what? Good for her! I've seen a lot of positive and supportive feedback about her transition, the cover, and her desire to be known as Caitlyn, and this makes my heart swell to see how many forward-thinking and wonderfully supportive people there are out there. And as much as I love reading all of the beautiful comments, tweets, articles, you name it, this post is not for you. No. This post is for all of the ignorant, hateful pieces of shit out there in the media, cyberspace, and life.  

Who the fuck do you think you are? This has nothing to do with you. I don't care that you think it's icky or weird or "gay". Everyone has an opinion, I get it. I'm not naive enough to think that if people don't like it, they'll keep it to themselves. Of course they won't. They need to shout it from the rooftops, but yet won't give us the courtesy of jumping off while they're at it (that was harsh, I admit, but honestly, I don't think you deserve anything better). I've seen comments talking about- wait, you know what? Let me find one.

You're a judgmental, bigoted asshole. Lol brah. 

That would be a picture that was posted by one of our local news channels. Go figure that we have comments like that on a page based in Texas. I know- shocker. I know I should block out their names for their privacy, but I'm not a good person so I'm not gonna. 

Anyway, to people that agree specifically with those two comments, here's what I have to say to you: You don't get to decide what is right for other people. No, shut up. You just don't. I don't give a shit about your beliefs and your opinions, just like, I'm sure you don't give a shit about mine. That's fine. What's not fine is telling someone that they don't get to be who they are. If a man is gay, he's gay, and you're not allowed to call him a fag and/or beat the shit out of him. If a woman tells you that she's bisexual, you don't get to call her a slut, a "lesbo", or make disgusting "jokes" about having a threesome. If a man doesn't feel like a man and identifies as a woman, she gets to do that, and you don't get to tell her that she can't. You just don't. I know you will, but that's because you're a fucking idiot who doesn't listen.  But I reserve the right to call you out on the stream of incoherent, neandrathalic grunting that you call opinions.

Have you heard what I said? Your opinion doesn't matter, and you don't get to decide for other people what is right for them. Now I want you to repeat that to yourself while simultaneously punching yourself in the face. I'll wait.

Done? Actually I don't feel like you and I really got through to you. Try again. This time punch harder.

Whoa, you blacked out there for a minute, buddy. You okay? Just kidding- I don't give a shit.

Now, I know what you're going to say. 

"But Bekky, I don't care about your opinion and what you say. You're just a Libtard, and all of you are trying to tear apart this beautiful country that was 'founded under God'".

You can't make this shit up, folks.


Ah, yes. The political and religious arguments. I'm so glad you brought this up. First, liberals are not tearing this country apart. Sorry, we're just not. Not saying that conservatives are either (I'm just going to leave it at that). Actually this has nothing to do with politics, so there's that. I know, I know. You're foaming at the mouth to have a knock down, drag out "debate" about politics, but as the saying goes, "Arguing with idiots is like play chess with a pigeon- no matter how good you are, the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway". Secondly, I hate to break it to you, but this country was not founded as a Christian nation. It just wasn't. I'm sorry to be the first one to tell you this. Or maybe I'm not. We've already established that you're an idiot who doesn't listen. Were some forefathers Christians? Sure, but that's not what they wanted to base a country on. They tried to create a country in which "freedom of religion" was practiced. That means that you're free to practice your religion and feel strongly about it, but so is everyone else, regardless of what their religion (or lack thereof) is, and you don't get to be a dick about it. I'm sure this will upset a lot of people because it sounds like I'm generalizing, but I assure you, I'm not. I'm talking about people like good ol' Luis up there. You don't get to spew your ignorant, hateful bullshit and then hide behind your religion and your "patriotism". The God and Jesus I've heard about wouldn't stand for your hate-mongering and judgmental chest-beating. So, again, there's that. 

Anyway, I feel like I got a bit side-tracked up there. The moral of this post is "Don't be a dick". In fact, I wish that I could go back in time to when the first Bible was written and take that guy's hand and write exactly that on every fucking page. And I might even stop over while the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence were being drafted just to be thorough. Actually, now that I think about it, it's already kind of in the Declaration of Independence. And I quote, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that means all men were created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness".

And I get it, for all the bitching I did about how your opinions don't matter, you would probably like to repay that comment in kind. Well, let me remind you: You clicked on my post.

Bye, bitch. Bye.